Jimmy Johnson Gives 1,647th Fake Coach's Speech

Please stop this meme. No one is impressed when the former coach pretends he's coaching the losing-est team.

CBS Sports Radio Host Plagiarizes 3-Month Old Tony Romo Article

Chris Arnold is the house "emcee" of Dallas Mavericks games and co-hosts "G-Bag Nation" on 105.3 The Fan. He also was the center of a failed 2011 Super Bowl concert that was supposed to feature three scholarship winners performing with Erykah Badu and Prince (there are conflicting reports about whether Prince ever flew into Dallas or not, or even signed the contract). Now he's written an article defending Tony Romo, which he promoted on Twitter.

Keep Calm... @dallascowboys fans. thx for making my blog go viral. "The Truth About Tony Romo" read & RT if u agree. http://t.co/4aJFI7cThk
— Chris Arnold (@MrChrisArnold) October 11, 2013

The problem? That article was written by Scott Kacsmar. In July. The first clue being some of the stats weren't even adjusted to include this season. More after the jump.

This Man Just Called Everyone In The Media Nerds

Rays P David Price had a bad ALDS Game 2. He gave up seven runs in 7+ innings, and claimed Big Papi watched his second home run too long. So how did Price handle the rough night?

Dirk Hayhurst...COULDNT hack it...Tom Verducci wasn't even a water boy in high school...but yet they can still bash a player...SAVE IT NERDS
— David Price (@DAVIDprice14) October 6, 2013

To be fair, Hayhurst was wearing a bowtie yesterday, and demonstrated the "Vulcan changeup" last week. But Price didn't keep his criticisims to the Turner guys:

David Price didn’t just bash the TBS crew, he called reporters in Bos nerds to our faces. Walking away from scrum ‘Great questions. Nerds.’
— Trenni Kusnierek (@trenni) October 6, 2013

Afterwards, TBS' Keith Olbermann tweeted this picture.

It's Happening: The First EPL/MLS Doubleheader on NBC

October 19th's Seattle Sounders/FC Dallas tilt was originally scheduled for 4:00pm ET on NBCSN. It will now start after 2:30pm ET on NBC, following the West Ham/Man City match at 12:30. One may ask why they didn't schedule it this way originally, but that was before Clint Dempsey became a Sounder.
Read more at Awful Announcing.

ESPN and Turner Will Not Be Allowed To Go Home Early

After initial talks of ESPN and Turner handing over their final 2014 NASCAR season rights to NBC and Fox in August, the two tried again last week to dump off their unwanted coverage early. Which NASCAR again said no to.

“While we were humbled by the desire of NBC and FOX to start 12 months early, we now consider this matter closed and look forward to finishing our current agreement in 2014 with our great partners at FOX, Turner and ESPN.”

So, no, you will have to stay till the end of business like everyone else in the office.
Read more at Sports Business Daily.

Matt Harvey Can Go F*ck Himself

Here's the rules of how most sports radio interviews work (as well as pretty much every interview on the news, television, and magazines):
1. You're a person of interest that a radio show would like to talk to. You have endorsements from companies that would like for you to promote them. So a radio show will offer you the opportunity to promote your endorsements, as long as they can ask questions about how interesting you are.
2 - Be interesting, so that this radio show, as well as any other shows in this copycat business, will want to bring you back on. This will allow you more opportunities to promote your endorsements, making you a popular choice for future endorsers.
3 - Remember that no show wants to book you so you can just talk about your product: that would basically be a commercial. And radio would prefer a company to simply pay money to advertise for their show. That's why one third of an hour is left open to commercials: and national shows leave about 80% of that ad space for their local stations, which means that's a minute of precious ad time that they'd like your endorser to purchase.
4 - If you're a genuine asshat who wants to do an ad your endorser isn't paying for, a radio show will be less likely to have you back on, which means less opportunities to promote your endorsements. And if you can't promote your endorsements, they will be less inclined to pay you for them.
5 - If you're a colossal fuckdick who hasn't paid attention to rules 1-4, and you decide to go on a national show and do an ad, try not to be beligerent and try to have a coherent and interesting read.
6 - Always remember that it's not your show: the host reserves the right to hang up on your inept ass and clown both you and your company afterwards. Which is what a decorated name-brand pro like Dan Patrick will do. He's been working his game well before you were shitting your Pampers, and considering you're a Met, will probably be well known well after you're gone.
So congratulations, shithead. Enjoy having your ass deservedly handed to you.

Ready For Johnny Cam?

CBS will broadcast this Saturday's grudge match between Texas A&M and Alabama, and if you haven't heard, A&M's quarterback is Johnny Manziel. CBS will debut "Johnny Cam" this weekend, a camera dedicated solely to Johnny Football, capturing his every move throughout the game. Also, CBS' College Football Today will be live in College Station (the first time the show has ever broadcast from a regular-season game), preceded by an extra 30-minute special.
And ESPN will be there as well. Not only will College Gameday be there Saturday, but College Football Live will broadcast Thursday and Friday from A&M, as will the pregame for Thursday night's TCU-Texas Tech game. And, of course, SportsCenter. Because you know you couldn't get enough Johnny Football coverage last month.
Read more at CBS Sports and ESPN Media Zone.

No, A Georgia Church Is Not Asking God How To Stop Jadeveon Clowney

This image of a church sign in Georgia appeared on Reddit this week, giving the impression fans were looking to some divine intervention against South Carolina's Jadeveon Clowney. Well, if you knew how accurate Reddit's been lately, you might not be surprised to learn it was all a promotional stunt paid for by ESPN. More after the jump.

KO Mythbusts Unions In Sports

Whether you were a fan of his politics or not, Keith Olbermann has been making noise in his short week back on ESPN. After burying CBS' Pete Prisco Friday, KO honored former MLB Union head Marvin Miller for Labor Day. And if you had any preconceived notions about player unions, Keith has some arguments to make.

So, How's That Fox Sports 1 Thing Working Out?

You'd think the constant promos, numerous ads, promises of not being ESPN, and talk about Regis for the past six months would lead to a big first week for Fox Sports 1.
Not really. More like 161,000 average viewers.
FS1 finished fifth in primetime for it's first week, trailing not only ESPN but also the NFL and MLB's networks. To add insult to injury, they were only 3,000 viewers better than last year, when the network was Speed Channel. Both Fox Sports Live and Regis' Crowd Goes W!ld did poorly, but the news isn't all bad: they managed to beat Golf Channel and NBATV.
But the news does get worse. FS1 is down to 81,000 average viewers in total day ratings, less than the 100k Speed Channel got last year. And two NASCAR Truck races were the network's highest-rated programs.
But hey, at least you got that whole "fun" thing going for you.
Read more at Variety.

ESPN Would Like Out Of The NASCAR Business - Like, Right Now

Last month, ESPN and Turner Sports told NASCAR they didn't want to renew their contracts, which end after the 2014 season, citing stale ratings and aging demographics. NBC bought up most of their Cup races, and they split the Nationwide races with Fox. Now Sports Business Journal reports ESPN and Turner have told NASCAR they don't want to wait until 2015: they want to get out at the end of this year. If the legal wrangling required goes through, it would be an unprecedented move by a network to leave a contract early, especially with five separate groups of sports broadcasters competing for content.
Looks like finishing 20th or worse in 20 out of 24 races killed off Danicamania pretty quick.
Read more at Sports Business Journal.
Image courtesy ESPNW.

Blog On Fox-Owned Network Slams Speed Channel Fans

Awful Announcing is a blog that's self-described as "putting announcers on notice since 2005." They're also a part of Fox's Yardbarker network. So it should be no surprise there's been little criticism from the blog who's whole purpose is criticizing the sports media. So on Thursday, Awful Announcing chose the tried-and-true method of trolling - publishing internet comments.
More after the jump.

Fox Sports 1? More Like Fox Sports .23!

Remember when Fox said they were just going to launch Fox Sports 1 on Speed? Remember when suddenly they were asking for $0.80 per sub instead of the original $0.23 per sub? Remember when it looked like all the major distributors said "No" and it looked like Fox Sports 1 would launch nowhere? Well, according to Sports Business Daily's Jon Ourand, Fox caved in, and all the distributors will be paying the old Speed rate of $0.23 per sub. So everybody gets Regis!
Read more at Sports Business Daily.
Image courtesy NY Post.

Now Pac-12 Is In The Cable-Channel Fight Business

The Pac-12 Conference, who's main job should be administrating the 22 sports they sanction amongst their twelve member schools, has launched a campaign to get their fans to drop DirecTV. With the Pac-12 Network in it's second year, DirecTV still does not carry it, so the conference is hoping to pressure them by costing them business. Their website has 30-second ads and messages from the twelve Athletic Directors pleading their case.
Again, this was a conference that had issues with for-profit Grand Canyon State University joining D-1.
Read more at the Pac-12 website.

Stand-off Between Sports Nets And Distributors On The Horizon

With less than five days to go, Fox has yet to finalize Fox Sports 1 carriage deals with Dish Network, DirecTV, and Time Warner. When FS1 was announced this spring, they promised it would be on the current Speed channel. But now Fox has announced they will keep Speed going as punishment to those providers who don't shell out for FS1, offering a watered-down version that's just reruns of Pinks and Pimp My Ride (which was basically full-fledged Speed). Fox is looking for a raise from $0.23 per sub for Speed to $0.80 per sub, with an increase to $1.50 later.
Of course, Fox-owned Awful Announcing is keeping their mouth shut about this, but they are reporting Dish Network may have issues with ESPN at the end of September. The argument revolves around a raise from $5 per sub to $7 for ESPN, with an increase up to $8 later, and Dish may react by pulling all Disney networks and ABC stations.
Read more at Sports Business Daily and Awful Announcing.

Fox Sports Columnist Trolls By Comparing Manziel To Rosa Parks

Once upon a time in this country, there were ugly, racist, tyrannical rules dictating where a black person could sit on a bus. There were all kinds of these laws, actually, created and defended by the racists who benefited from them.
What kick-started change was an average, everyday woman named Rosa Parks, who had grown tired of being tired. Hers was not the first protest, nor was it particularly the best. It was merely the tipping point for many Americans long since tired of these immoral laws.

Those were the words Jen Floyd Engel opened her latest column - which Deadspin claims was originally titled "Manziel is the new Rosa Parks" before being changed to "Manziel case was tipping point." And Deadspin pretty much showed her ass to the world, bringing up a previous article where she slammed Terrel Pryor for basically lesser crimes:

He did not play enforcer for the NCAA. Nor did he overstep his bounds or act as a capricious holy roller, as many have implied. In this increasingly ugly and infinitely cynical time in college football, he took a stand. Roger sent a clear message that the NFL will no longer be a safe harbor for college football terrorists...
...Please also stop with the “he’s a catalyst for change” meme.
Real change begins with a guy willing to sacrifice for a larger principle, the guy standing in front of the tank at Tiananmen Square, not a guy trying to get the Chinese word for “Buckeye” tattooed onto his bicep for free.

Oh, and this gem about Tim Tebow:

What if Tim Tebow were a Muslim?
Imagine for a second, the Denver Broncos quarterback is a devout follower of Islam, sincere and principled in his beliefs and thus bowed toward Mecca to celebrate touchdowns. Now imagine if Detroit Lions players Stephen Tulloch and Tony Scheffler mockingly bowed toward Mecca, too, after tackling him for a loss or scoring a touchdown, just like what happened Sunday.
I know what would happen. All hell would break loose.

This is what we have to look forward to on Fox Sports 1. It's The 1 For Fun!
Read more at Deadspin.

Umm...OK?

@93XHAMS why yes I do!!!!! pic.twitter.com/B3DVQGbXNz
— Jesse Kern (@jdkern3) August 11, 2013

For the record, this was from a KARE-TV 11 report about tailgating at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome.

PA Accidentally Rolls Out Crue, Everyone Loses It

The guy who runs the PA system for the Diamondbacks screwed up Saturday night, hitting the opening cord of Motley Crue's "Kickstart My Heart," and causing J.J. Putz to spike the ball halfway from the plate. The PA guy seems to know he screwed up, since there's a rule against noise during play, but to see the broadcasters freak out really is sad.
Video courtesy MLB.com.

Jack Clark Gets He And His Co-Host Fired For Not Knowing How Libel Works

Jack Clark started as a co-host of a St. Louis radio show over a week ago, so he's probably not aware of how to handle accusations and opinions. So when the topic of whether or not Pujols used steroids came up, host Kevin Slaten said that he believed Pujols "has been a juicer", a statement of his personal belief. But then Clark had to butt in: 

I know for a fact he was. The trainer that worked with him, threw him batting practice from Kansas City, that worked him out every day, basically told me that’s what he did. 

Well, that's a statement of fact without evidence, which is libel. This morning, WGNU announced both men would be fired, despite the fact Slaten knew how to cover his ass. Of course, Clark's short-lived radio career included calling the third-in-the-NL Cards "quitters" and saying they have "poopy in their pants." Both men were fired after Pujols said he was seeking legal action. Which is fair, but if these allegations are true, Pujols may want to remember Lance Armstrong's win over a British newspaper; they had to pay out after saying he was juicing, but they're now suing back after he revealed he was.
Read more at Pro Baseball Talk and the St. Louis Post Dispatch.

NBC Has Assigned Each NYC Hood An EPL Club

This sign has appeared at bus stops as NBC continues to promote it's upcoming Premier League debut. Besides the fact it's assigned a team to each neighborhood, it did avoid the obvious link of placing Chelsea FC in Chelsea.
Read more at Pro Soccer Talk.